Sometimes

Sometimes you have to break away.

Sometimes you have to feel like you’re going to run out of money.

Sometimes this is what it’s like to live.

Sometimes you cannot be secure.

Sometimes you can feel free.

Sometimes you can heal.

Sometimes you can grow.

Sometimes you can eat cereal at night.

Sometimes you are okay.

You have cereal.

You have your breath.

Sometimes you want to roam the Earth.

Sometimes you want to connect with every soul.

Sometimes you want to live in every corner of the world.

Sometimes things are crazy just for the sake if it.

Sometimes taking a leap is boundless.

 

Today I am playing this Dan Croll song on repeat, because sometimes music is all that makes sense:

 

 

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If the Buddha Dated

A friend of mine shared a book with me to help in some changes I am making regarding my romantic relationship. It is called “If the Buddha Dated: Finding Love On A Spiritual Path”. There are lots of questions asked and many prompts to sit down with a pencil and paper to answer them. Truthfully. In doing so I realized I have never really thought much about what I want in a partner. One of the exercises has you make a mock personals ad based around what you want, and another has you make one based around negative things you think about yourself. So, for perspective, I will be sharing both of them below. I used to think this kind of stuff was silly, and this doesn’t mean I’m joining Tinder, but I’ve learned a lot about myself by being honest with myself (no matter how silly). I recommend it!

Regular Personals Ad:

30 year old woman with a great sense of humor and adventurous spirit seeks partner to laugh and have fun with! Preferably dark and handsome with a humble spirit and conciousness about the world and issues. A lovely partner, lover and friend all around 🙂

Negative Personals Ad:

Fearful 30 year old woman unsure of what to do with herself or life. Anxious, somewhat annoying, very stubborn and quite aggressive in her opinions. Sad and fed up with being ill, but unable to move forward because of it. Sees that as an excuse.

I Am Waiting

I’ve spent a lot of my life waiting

To see if the pain will stop

To see if I’ll feel better

Waiting

For them to love me

For them to come home

For them to let me go

Waiting

For a true purpose

For the wind to stop blowing

And the weather to get warmer

Waiting

For a parcel in the post

For an epiphany to solidify I am human

And not a ghost

Waiting

For my plane to arrive

And waiting to take off

I’ve spent a lot of my life waiting

For things to begin

And end

 

I AM A WARRIOR

Chronic pain is a lot of things, and it obviously makes you feel a lot of things, but most of all it’s just an annoying little bitch.

I could go into the depths of my pain, but quite frankly I’m tired of talking about it and would like to just get on with things. I don’t think humans are designed to fully understand each other’s pain. It’s a unique experience; solitary.

Piggybacking on last week’s Bad Ass Book List, I thought I would dive right into another list. This time I’d like to share the music I listen to that makes me feel powerful and hopeful in times of pain. I feel like sharing what we love about music is a really positive thing to do, and I think it’s really important to spread little bits of positivity about whenever possible.

POWERFUL:

Warrior by Aurora

From my favorite album of 2016, All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend, Aurora suggests a kinder approach to being a warrior; a warrior of love. Aurora exudes love not only in her recorded music but also in her live performances. The chorus of this song also makes for a really great pick me up whenever you need a boost.

 

Cool Slut by Chastity Belt

Chastity Belt take back the word slut by making it fun and positive. That’s powerful. “We just wanna have some fun, try to bone everyone.”

 

People Have The Power by Patti Smith

This song is actually both powerful and hopeful, because people have the power to redeem the work of fools (YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN)! Patti makes the world make sense.

 

HOPEFUL:

From Nowhere by Dan Croll

It’s not so much the lyrics in this one that make me hopeful, but the music and what Dan created as a whole on his debut album Sweet Disarray (and what is to come on his upcoming second album). As an added bonus, I was introduced to him live, opening for none other than Aurora. At the time I was not feeling very hopeful about anything (probably because this was the weekend before Election Day in the USA), so you can imagine my renewed sense of hope after letting Dan into my heart.

 

Lucky by Aurora

Another track from the wonderful  All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend, Aurora sings about troubles past, present and future, but with an understanding that she is simply just lucky to be alive.

 

Serenading In The Trenches by Sondre Lerche

I just love Sondre’s new album Pleasure so much I wanted to share what might be my favorite track and video. Sondre himself sump up the video best: “I wanted to play out romantic relationships, sexual relationships, even a father and son type thing – to really have us touch on almost any kind of deep relationship that two men, or even a woman and a man might have. We [Sondre and his drummer Dave, who co-stars in the video] know each other so well, and we enjoy each other so much, I thought it would be really beautiful for us to take on all these different relations in a video.”